Station Identification

My name is Michael Kocinski. I'm an amateur poet; a citizen scientist; a casual gardener; an advanced doodler; a cook, a father, a husband; a sometime tutor; an aspiring naturalist; and an utter failure at life. I dream of writing a novel. I have enough poems to collect as a manuscript. I want to learn to play the banjo and speak Sign Language. I want my kids to have a better early life than I had but I don't know if they do; I won't know until one of them is 41 and writing a blog about his or her shit parents.

For the last ten years I've made nearly every meal my family has eaten, with the exception of holidays and dining out. The Maker is part of what is made. I give my family a bit of myself in every PB & J cut on the bias and served with chips and sliced apples. You'd think I'd be more careful about my attitude, but really I'm a grouch all the time and maybe that negativity is in the food and maybe that's why my kids cry so easily. At minimum I put milk and cereal in the bowl. At minimum I toast the bread and butter it. I pack the lunch. I roast the chicken. I dice the veggies for mirepoix. I cook the rice. I sharpen the knives. I have purpose in the kitchen. I love the kitchen as I must have loved the womb.

My name is Michael Kocinski. I love: my wife and our three children; natural history; poetry reading and writing; comic books; advocating for comprehensive education reform, starting with reevaluating the efficacy of standardized testing and reintroducing hands-on supplemental activities like journaling, plant and insect identification, and finger painting through grade 12.

I want to mentor young men away from the gender stereotypes that promote violence against women,  violence against others, and violence against the self. I want to mentor young men away from self-hatred, willful ignorance, and illustrate that compassion, intelligence, and good nature are not weaknesses.

It's hard to set goals and achieve them all. At least immediately, the way I want to achieve goals. I no longer have the patience for learning, I want the immediate gratification of a Google search on my journey to learn how to do everything I'm interested in. You pick small victories. You take the thing on the daily list you can do, and you do it. I make a lunch for Henry everyday. I will tell you something. I don't remember taking a lunch to school everyday. I don't remember even having money for lunch on those days I didn't have a sack lunch. Set one goal: make a lunch for Henry everyday.

I can look in the mirror at night and I can say, "You are not an utter failure. You made lunch for Henry this morning." Like addition, you need to carry the one, add it to the next column of numbers. Today, you make the lunch. Tomorrow, you make the lunch, and maybe add a few pages to the novel. The days are there to use, and they will keep coming even if I'm going into them begrudgingly. The days are generous, they give us 365 chances a year to wake up and do the things: sharpen the knife, learn the signs, make the doughnuts.